Gettin' Patty

St. Patrick’s Day is my third favorite holiday. Maybe it comes from spending almost 10 years in a school with “The Fighting Irish” as a mascot. Maybe from having an Irish first name. Or that my favorite color is green. Maybe, since I was supposed to be born on March 17th, my love of St. Patty’s was preordained!

Whatever the reason, St. Patrick’s Day is yet another wonderful reason to have a folks over for a themed dinner and plenty of drinking. Enter The Kid, who, despite having an 8am exam the next morning, helped make a respectable dent in my Irish beer supply.

Rounding out the guest list were The Raccoon and Roomie.

For the main course I made Colcannon a traditional Irish dish (it even has it's own theme song!), the recipe for which I got from the delightfully old-school “Vegan Handbook”

1-2 pounds of potatoes, diced
2 parsnips, peeled and diced
2 leeks, green & white parts, sliced thin
1 cup unsweetened soymilk
1 small head of cabbage, diced (about 4 cups)
2 tablespoons vegan butter
½ teaspoon mace
1 tablespoon cheater garlic
1 teaspoon sea salt
½ teaspoon fresh ground pepper

Cook the potatoes and parsnips in boiling water until tender
While those are cooking, combine the milk and the leeks in a small saucepan. Simmer until the leeks are soft (but be careful not to boil the milk too much or it will start to separate).
In a larger sauce pan, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add the cabbage and cook until very soft.
Drain the potatoes and parsnips. Add the garlic, mace, salt, and pepper to the pot and mash very well. The mix should be very creamy.
Add the milk and leeks. Mash again to distribute the leeks.
With a large serving spoon, mix in the cooked cabbage.
Serve warm with a side of cooked veg, a glass of the very interesting DogfishHead Red&White, and a slice of the following bread.

Guinness Bread
note that this bread is technically not vegan since Guinness uses isinglass to clarify their beer. I’m not the kind of vegan who cares about things like that, especially on St. Patrick’s Day.

2 packages of dry yeast
½ cup very warm water
1 tablespoon sugar
6 ounces Guinness Extra Stout
2 tablespoons agave syrup
1 tablespoon vegan butter
2 ½ cups whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon caraway seeds
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ginger
1 ½ cups (scant) white flour

Mix the sugar and yeast with the water in a medium-sized bowl and set aside.
Heat the beer, butter, and agave in a small pan. When warm, add to the yeast mixture and stir well.
Add the whole wheat flour to the yeast-beer mixture and beat with a fork until combined and sticky. Stir in the caraway seeds, salt and ginger. Mix well to evenly distribute.
In half-cup increments, add the white flour, mixing & kneading well between each addition.
Once all the flour has been incorporated, knead the dough until it no longer sticks to your hands (about 3 minutes).
Shape into a round loaf and place in a well greased 9-inch round cake pan. Cover with a damp towel and let rise somewhere warm for about an hour. (I let it sit on top of the oven while I made the soda bread).
Bake the risen bread at 350 for 30 minutes or until it sounds hollow when you flick it with your finger.


Though we didn't eat any of it on St. Pat's, I also decided to make a vegan soda bread. When I start baking - especially when there's alcohol involved - it's sometimes hard to stop.


Soda Bread

also from "Vegan Handbook"

2 cups whole wheat flour
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar
2 tablespoons caraway seeds
¼ cup currants
1 cup unsweetened soymilk + 1 tablespoon lemon juice

Mix the soymilk and lemon juice. Set aside.
In a large bowl, sift together the dry ingredients. Add the caraway seeds and currants.
Pour the now-curdley milk mixture into the dry ingredients and mix well until it turns into dough.
Knead the dough right in the bowl, adding flour as needed until it no longer sticks to your hands (about 2 minutes). Shape into a round loaf.
Place into round, greased baking pan (the smallest one you have). With a floured knife, cut an ‘X’ into the top of the loaf.
Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. Let cool about 10 minutes in the pan before re-cutting the cross on top and breaking it open a little bit to fully cool

(thanks to The Kid for helping with the last step)

And to finish the meal, My Goodness, My Guinness Spice Cake

2 cups dark brown sugar

1 cup hot water

1 cup room temperature Guinness Extra Stout

2 tablespoons vegan butter

2 cups of dark raisins

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cloves

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

3 cups whole wheat flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

In a medium-sized sauce pan, combine the sugar, water, stout, butter, raisins, salt, and spices. Bring to a rolling boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Let cool to room temperature.

Note: Oh. My. Goodness. This mixture is seriously amazing. Like can't-stop-licking-the-pan, fighting-over-who-gets-the-spoon amazing. There are some potentially deadly stout caramels in there somewhere. The Kid suggested turning it into pecan pie. In my opinion, Guinness should be as much a kitchen staple as salt & pepper.

Sift together the flour, powder, and soda in a large bowl. Add the cooled stout mixture to the bowl and stir well. Pour into a 9x11 glass baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for about 35-40 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. (Mine actually got a little bit dark around the edges so next time I may try a metal pan or playing around with the baking time/temperature).

Then end result of my Irish feast? A room full of smiling eyes and a sink full of completely cleaned plates.

Slainte!

GOFTTP

Get out the tinsel and the mistletoe. String the popcorn and cranberries. Put on your Santa hats and get liquored up.


That's right kids. It's time once again for a "Good Ol'-Fashioned Tree Trimming Party." Though we don't usually wait until December 22 to hang a shining star upon the highest bough, that was the soonest everyone could be home.


We look very festive, no?

To provide much needed sustenance, my mom made Sacrosanct Sausage Crackers (recipe for the veganized version coming soon), Velveeta Nacho Dip, sweet&sour meatballs, mini-meatloaf sliders, and spicy boneless wings; I made party mix and a vegetable tray; the boys were in charge of providing an inappropriate amount of alcohol.

GOFTTP Mix

2 heaping cups popped popcorn
2 cups mini spelt pretzals
1 1/2 cups rice or wheat Chex cereal
1 cup puffed Kamut cereal (I used Kashi)
1/2 cup slivered or sliced almonds
1/4 cup maple syrup
2 teaspoons sesame oil
1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder (you could use 1/2 chipotle powder for some more heat)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon coarse sea salt
2 tablespoons sesame seeds (using black ones gives the mix a nice color contrast)
1/4 cup dried goji berries (use golden raisens if you don't have/can't find gojis)
1/4 -1/2 cup dried cranberries

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Coat a large baking sheet with cooking spray. In a large bowl, toss together the popcorn, pretzals, almonds, and cereals. Drizzle with the maple syrup and oil. Toss to coat. Sprinkle with the chili powder, garlic, and salt. Toss to coat. Add the cranberries and toss again. Spread the mixture in a single layer on the baking sheet and sprinkle with the sesame seeds. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until toasted, stirring often. Let cool on the tray and then transfer to a serving bowl and stir in the goji berries.

~~~

While munching on the mix, Roomie and the HB (who works as a bartender at a schwank restaruant in Anchorage) began conconting weird and wonderful things at the bar.

Grown-Ass Man Raspberry Lemonade
"I'm an adult & I deserve an adult-sized glass"
Combine 8-12 oz. Lindeman's Framboise Lambic and 1 1/2 shots citrus vodka (Belvi is the house vodka here at the 1-4-4-8) in a tulip-style beer glass. Rim the glass with a lemon wedge and serve.

'Pass The Courvoisier' Sparklers
"because we leave them girls rollin'"
Pour 1/2 shot of Courvoisier into a champagne flute. Top with sparkling apple cider and 5-6 dashes of bitters.

The Partridge
"drunk is the only way I'd consider poultry in a bush an acceptable gift"
In a shaker full of ice, mix 2 shots pear-flavored vodka (on Willowood we use La Poire), 1 shot Stone's Ginger Wine, 1 shot simple syrup (microwave 1 cup of water til it's boiling, add 2 cups demarara sugar, and enjoy), and 1/2 shot of lemon juice. Strain into chilled martini glasses. If you want to put on your fancy pants, mandolin a slightly under-ripe pear and freeze the very-thin slices. Add to the glass as garnish.

The Jack (Frost) Poinsettia
"something to nip and warm your nose"
In a shaker filled with ice, mix up 2 parts Laird's Applejack, 1 part lime juice, and 1/2 part grenadine. Strain into highball glasses full of ice. Note: do NOT use apple brandy. It's Laird's or drink something else.

The Longest Nightini
"Are you blind in your little froggy eyes?! It's the Solstice! The darker side of Christ-mas!"
In a cocktail shaker, muddle together 1/2 pint of blackberries, 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves, 1/2 ounce or so each simple sugar and lemon juice. Add 1-2 ounces citron vodka and a handfull of ice. Shake with vigor then strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a curl of lemon zest and a blackberry on a cocktail skewer.

Beer-Berry Brulee
"spoon-free dessert"
In a pilsner glass mix equal parts Lindeman's Framboise Lambic and Southern Tier's Creme Brulee Stout.

~~~

Despite the libations, we were somehow able to use a 10-foot ladder to decorate a twelve-foot tree without any major injuries.

It must be the magic of a Christmas and a GOFTTP.

On the Road Again

Hi to the ello friends and enemies.


It's been donkey's years since I've posted. The main reason? I've been travelling. It's kind of hard to be whipping up delicious vegan meals when you're eating out of a cooler in the back of a van.


I left Athens the last week of July to stay with my parent's for a few days to celebrate my mom's birthday. My gift was homemade sangria that we started drinking around noon.

Mom's 57 Golden Sangria

2 bottles (750ml) white wine (Nothing too expensive; I used Frontera Sauv Blanc once and Bohemian Highway pino grigio the next time)
4 tbs of lemon juice
2-3 tbs agave nectar
3/4 cup Grand Marnier
2 cups fresh, chopped pineapple
3 nectarines, chopped (get organic and leave the skins on)
1 pint of raspberries, frozen (see below)

Mix everything but the fruit in a large pitcher until the agave is disolved. I have one of those in-fridge jars with the spigot on the bottom which works quite nicely.
Add the pineapple and nectarines to the jar. Stir well. Add a couple handfulls of ice and let sit in the fridge for at least 12 hours.
While the the sangria chills, place the raspberries on a parchment-paper-lined cookie sheet/plate in the freezer until solid. You can freeze these ahead of time too.
To serve, fill a wide mouth wine glass with equal parts wine and the wine-soaked fruit. Garnish with a few of the frozen raspberries (a mint sprig if you're feeling saucy) and a spoon. My mom has some very excellent milkshake spoon-straws (spraws? stroons? Nicer than the ones at this website but similar) which work wonderfully for this sangria. Let me tell you, you haven't had pineapple until you've had pineapple that's been soaking in wine and GranMar for 48 hours. Word.

After the birthday merriment, I was off to Cleveland for a night with my cousins, J & The Demon Baby. The latter got a trampoline for her third birthday. They wanted my to join them on said trampoline and I did but I was probably the least fun trampoline-jumper in the history of trampolines. My imagination is far to vivid for me to enjoy a bouncy length of tarp stretched between some springs. My brain kept sending up pictures of snapped necks and broken legs. Hardly conducive to, "jump us higher!! jump us higher!!"


From Cleveland, I pointed Frankenstein in a north-easterly direction to meet up with Roomie in St. Catharine's, Ontario for the Royal Canadian Henley Regatta. I was let into Canada by a man that I'm convinced was simply posing as a border guard. His questions were cursory at best and upon leaving Canada, I was told that I should never have been allowed to enter the country with the amount of fresh produce that I did. Most of the fresh produce was eaten in a hotel room with a very nice, duty-free bottle of Canadian wine.


From Canada, Roomie and I drove back to his sub-let in Philadelphia. I will summarize this road trip simply by saying: wind turbines unsettle me in a vague, undefinable way. I can't look too long or too directly at them without experiencing a very acute and potent kind of vertigo.


Philly was great. The car remained un-broken-into this time (the battery died instead), and we spent three hours walking around museums. Modern art is far easier to appreciate when you've had a strongly mixed Beefeater and tonic. Thank you again Philly Museum of Art's "Art After 5." Also delicious: water ice. It's the Philadelphia version of italian ice; kinda like a thicker slushie with way better flavors. Nothing rounds out a 6 block walk to the liquor store like an orange-creamsicle-flavored water ice.


From Philly, Roomie and I have returned to Marion for a week or so of being kids again. Translation: free room and board, no real responsibilities, and plentiful dinner that neither of us has to cook or pay for.

Soon, though, I'll be back in Athens having to feed myself, teach some college frosh, and writing all about it.

Wish as I might, it just can't be summer vacation forever.

Have A Drink On Me

Eating an all raw diet, at least for me, is a great mood booster. When the bulk of what you eat is fresh fruits & veggies, it's hard to feel guilty about over-eating. Being well-hydrated and aware of your hunger is like operating with a post-spa-week clear head. I think it's even been helping with my (self-diagnosed) PMDD.

But there are times...times when it seems like every thirsty co-ed has waited until the shift change to buy their booze...when you hoss 30 cases of Natty into the back of some frat house party wagon and the driver doesn't bother to help or tip...when despite the planning and preparation, your lesson plan falls flat and you end up teaching to twenty sets of blank, staring eyes...when Roomie totals the front of Frankenstein (the van) for the third-ish time this year...

These are the times when, good mood or no, an alcoholic beverage is most emphatically in order. When life deals you a crummy hand, bluff like hell and signal the waitress for another drink.

Now, technically, most alcohol is not raw; hops have to be boiled for beer, potatoes/grains for vodka, sugarcane for rum, corn/rye for whiskey. Wine for the most part is raw, though it may not always be vegan (isinglass and all that). However, as an egotistical raw vegan, I make my own rules. And alcohol is in.


There are ways, though, to make alcohol less detrimental to your health. Lighter colored liqueurs are easier for your body to process; the more times something has been distilled, the less impurities, the less likely a hangover. Natural sugars rather than fake-chemically sodas. Things like fresh herbs can also up the "raw-factor."


Here are a few of my recent "rawktail" (patent pending) experiments.


Raw-jito (adapted from Raw Food, Real World)


In a shaker or large glass, muddle the following:
1 handfull mint leaves
1/2 cup lime juice
2 tbs agave syrup


Add to the shaker:
1/2 cup ice cubes
1/2 - 3/4 cup sake


Shake well and strain into two large martini glasses. Top each with champagne or sparkling wine (however sweet you like it, I used Veuve Orange label) and serve. Note that the sweeter the champagne, the less agave you will probably need. Use lemon instead of lime, gin and soda water instead of sake and champagne and you've got a classic Southside Cocktail.


The warmer it is outside the more of these you will drink. I invested in a martini pitcher last summer and this recipe doubled/tripled fills it quite nicely. And the lack of sugar-dense dark rum makes it possible to drink the whole pitcher and still be at the pool at 7 the next morning.


Sweet Basil Lemonade (patent pending)


In a large glass or shaker muddle the following:
1 handful of basil leaves
1/4 - 1/2 cup lemon juice
2 tbs agave syrup


Add to the shaker and shake very well:
up to 4 shots of good vodka. I like Chopin, but Grey Goose is alright.
1/2 cup ice cubes


Divide the drink between champagne or wine glasses (depending on how large a drink you want to drink) and top with a sweet champagne or sparkling wine (I like Mondoro Asti).


Like the Raw-jito, this is a green and fruity drink that's wonderful to sip on a hot, summer porch. This is also a quick and (relatively) painless way to drink 5 shots of vodka. I was a bit fuzzy for the first mile of my morning-after run, but nothing lingering.


Cuke-Gin Tonic


In a shaker, muddle:
1/4 - 1/2 cup of cucumber, diced and seeded. Leave some of the skin on to give the drink a nice green look to it.
1/2 tbs agave syrup
at least 4 shots of Blue Gin, Tanqueray Ten, Hendrick's, or some other top-shelf gin.


Strain into two highball glasses filled halfway with ice. Top with very cold tonic water.


Santa's Little Helper


Juice two pink grapefruits. If you have a high-powered juicer, do not take the rind off the fruit. Just cut it into quarters and juice it through. The skin adds extra antioxidants and a nice bitter layer to the sweetness of the drink.


In a shaker muddle:
1 small handful of mint leaves
1/4 cup lime juice
scant 1/2 tbs agave syrup


Add to the shaker and then shake well:
1/2 cup ice
4 shots of gin


Divide the mix between two large, ice-filled tumblers. Top with equal parts of the grapefruit juice and club soda. The fresh juice really makes this drink. Don't use store-bought if you can help it. If time constraints force you to, leave out the agave. The drink is way too sweet otherwise.



***



So there you go kids; a few raw libations to slake your thirst in the coming summer months. Remember: the fresher ingredients the less likely you'll leave your bed on your hands and knees the next morning. Should that happen, however, there's nothing like a little toupe of the (veggie) dog to set you right. Omit the alcohol in any of these recipes in favor of sparkling water, kombucha, rejuvelac, coconut water (or any combination thereof) for a refreshing, hydrating, hangover blocker.


Cheers!