Doldrums

Things the depress Megan:

1. The end of a holiday/party season
2. Being injured/unable to work out because of said injury
3. Not seeing Roomie on a daily basis
4. Monthly lady-bit issues


Any one of these things by itself makes for a pretty crappy week, (loyal readers/detractors following along at home might recognize the first three from previous depression-themed posts) but I'm usually able to maintain the facade of fully-functional adult. Depending on the combination, I can even semi-handle (read: bathe and not cry uncontrollably) two or three at a time. But this past week, the powers that be thought it might be fun to see what I'd do faced with all four. At the same time.

It was like a mental health Chernobyl; the fall-out of which included barely making it out of bed before noon, being unable to fall asleep even with the liberal application of alcohol or Rx drugs, not brushing my hair, having full-out panic attacks at the thought of having to leave the house etc. It also included making most of the people around me miserable by association, and engaging in some un-healthily obsessive behavior. "I say goddamned what a rush!"***

Though at the time it felt as though I would never be happy again, here I am on the other side of my doldrums, and back in the kitchen; attempting to make up for my less-than-pleasant behavior with baked goods. As everybody knows, nothing says, "sorry I can't afford anti-depressants," like baked goods.

The first is a big, crunchy, drop cookie, adapted from a recipe originally in my Christmas-present-to-myself cookbook,"Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar."

The SFSFYDS&GITK Ginger Macadamia Cookies
"Stop Feeling Sorry For Your Damn Self & Get In The Kitchen"

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2/3 cup canola oil
2/3 cup sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar, light or dark
1/3 cup unsweetened soy milk (I like Pearl)
1 tablespoon flax seed meal
1 squirt of vanilla bean paste (2-ish teaspoons of the liquid kind, probably)
1 1/2 cups unsalted macadamia nuts (raw if you can get them), chopped coarse
heaping 1/2 cup finely chopped candied ginger

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a few cookie sheets with parchment paper. This recipe makes about 30 coffee-mug-sized cookies.
Sift together the flour, baking soda, salt and nutmeg in a medium bowl. Set aside.
Using a hand mixer (I didn't feel like whipping out the stand mixer. We're still not talking since the over-mixed bread fracas), beat together the oil, sugars, milk, flax, and vanilla. Slowly add the flour mixture and mix well. Fold in the nuts and ginger.
For each cookie, scoop a heaping tablespoon of dough onto the tray, leaving about an inch and a half between each glob. The cookies will spread out.
Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until the tops and edges start to brown. Depending on your oven, you might want to bake for 15 minutes, rotate the trays and bake for another 3-5 minutes.
Let the cookies sit on the trays for about 5 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to fully cool.




The other cookie I made today is still in the beta-testing stage. Over the holidays, I was attempting to make raw macaroons without the aid of my dehydrator. The chocolate ones turned out ok, they just took 6 hours in the oven at 200. Not exactly time- or energy-efficient. They were also much denser than the traditionally dehydrated cookies. In my search for an airy coconut cookie, I decided to de-raw the almond version of the raw macaroon recipe and create a cookie I could actually bake. I love coconut and macaroons but since the main ingredient is egg whites, it's hard to find a good vegan version. In the end I sacrificed the poofiness of a traditional macaroon for the taste. The following recipe is still being tweaked, but it turns out a pretty delicious cookie. Even the kinda-burned ones are good.

Almond-Coconut Doilies

1 cup raw, unsweetend coconut flakes
1/2 cup sweetened coconut, flakes or shreds
3/4 cup almond meal/flour
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teasoon sea salt
1/2 cup maple syrup
3 scant tablespoons coconut oil
1 squirt vanilla paste (maybe a teaspoon and a half of the liquid)

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a few cookie sheets with parchment paper.
In a small bowl, sift together the flours, salt, and powder. Set aside.
With a hand mixer, beat together the coconut oil, vanilla, and maple syrup until very smooth.
Add the flour mix to the wet ingredients and mix well. Fold in all the coconut, using a fork to distribute evenly if the mix gets too thick for the mixer.
For each cookie, roll about half tablespoon of dough between your hands (This dough is really sticky/oily. I like getting messy in the kitchen, but you could probably flour your hands with a little almond meal if you want to keep your hands from getting too doughy). Place the balls on the parchment-lined trays, two rows of three or four balls, depending on the size of your trays. Using your fingers (or the back of a lightly almond-flour-dusted fork) smoosh the dough down into silver-dollar-ish-sized disks.
Bake for 12-15 minutes rotating trays front to back and top to bottom, halfway through. The cookies are done when the edges are deep, golden brown. It is ok if the very middle still looks a little shiny and uncooked. Leave the cookies on the trays for about 5-8 minutes before transferring to a rack to cool completely.
If the cookies seem too oily (a problem with early trial runs) place them on paper towels to absorb some of the oil or let them sit on wire racks in an oven set to 150 to dry them out even further.

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Now that I'm feeling better, I have all sorts of KitchenKapers (patent pending) planned. Raw chocolate-orange tarts, completely invented stuffing, fun with celery roots, the next installment of The Veganification!! and much, much more!! So stay tuned!

***(and speaking of The Veganification!!, identify the movie quote in today's post for bonus The Veganification! points, redeemable for merchandise, snacks, and my mostly-depression-free love.)