The Elbow Bone's Connected to the Vegan BBQ Rib Bone

There is currently a WinTech racing single spanning the length of my living room and jutting into my kitchen.

Does this lack of space deter me in my quest for delicious vegan food? Of course not!! I've already mastered the art of cooking on a stove with only one full-sized burner, what's a little less elbow room?

On the menu this weekend (after what was unfortunately my first trip to the Athens' Farmers' Market) was barbeque. Fresh corn, fresh green beans, fresh peppers, fresh potatoes. It doesn't get much better. Prepping the tempeh takes a little extra time so prep it a day before or the morning of. Having everything chopped and blended ahead of time also helps. Or you can do like I do. Take time to enjoy the cooking process and keep the ice cubes at the bottom of your gin&tonic from getting too dry.

So here's the menu for my soon-to-be-famous "Don't Bump the Boat Barbeque Feast." Fresh lemonade or a citrus-forward wine or beer (a NZ sauvignon blanc or maybe Conundrum; something like Oberon or Shock Top or Magic Hat #9) would have rounded this meal out nicely.

Elbows In Tempeh Cutlets

Cut a package of tempeh into strips and place into a pot of rapidly boiling water. Reduce heat and let simmer for 10-12 minutes. This takes out some of the bitterness and readies the tempeh to soak up the marinade.

While the tempeh is cooking, mix together until very smooth:

1/4 cup warm water

2 tbs peanut butter

1 tbs soy sauce or tamari

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/4 tsp black pepper

Pat the tempeh with paper towels to absorb some of the water. Place in a 9x9 Pyrex dish and pour the mixture in, turning the tempeh to make sure all the sides are coated. Cover with saran wrap and let sit in the fridge for at least 6 hours.

When you're ready for dinner and while you're making the barbeque sauce, potatoes, and salad (see below), bake the tempeh at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Turn and bake for another 10. I leave the timing up to you. These don't really dry out so you can leave them warming in the oven for a while and the longer they cook the crispier the PB marinade gets. I started these cooking while the sauce was simmering.

BBBQ Sauce (the extra B is for bitchin')

Saute in a medium sauce pan:

2 tbs oil

1 onion, chopped

1 heaping tbs cheater garlic

Stir in:

1 cup fresh tomato puree (I blended up three from JSK's garden. Yum!)

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup yellow mustard

1/2 cup water

1 tbs molasses

1 tbs fresh parsley, chopped

1 tsp allspice

1/2 tsp cayenne or chipotle pepper

Bring to a boil and add:

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar

2 tbs soy sauce or tamari

Bring to boil again, reduce heat to simmer, and very slowly (to avoid any lumps) stir in about a teaspoon of cornstarch until the sauce thickens slightly. Let simmer for 15 minutes.

While I was cooking the sauce on the full-sized burner, I had a frying pan of oil heating on small burner. When the sauce was ready to simmer I presto-chango! switched their places (with only one small oil-burn to show for it!) to begin cooking the Tri-Color Potato Hash

2-3 potatoes, chopped into bite-sized or smaller pieces

1 large green pepper, chopped

1 large red pepper, chopped

2 ears of raw corn, cut off the cob

Fry the potatoes in a pan of oil. I have been eating fried potatoes for longer than I can remember (homefries and homemades, smothered in ketchup? The ambrosia of my youth). Yet I still cannot figure out how to fry potatoes on my own without most of the potato sticking to the bottom of the pan in a black mess. Is it because my frying pan sort of bows in the middle so it's hard to coat it evenly with oil? Is it because I don't put enough oil in to begin with? Is it the fact that I am usually impatient to start eating and try cooking the potatoes over too high heat? Just another culinary mystery that we may never solve.

After opening a window and fanning the smoke away from the beeping bedroom smoke alarm, transfer the cooked potatoes to a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add the raw peppers and corn to the bowl, stir to mix and cover with a plate to keep the heat in and slightly steam the raw veg just a bit. You could saute the veg in the potato pan if you prefer but I like a little crunch. And there was far too much charred potato on the bottom of my pan to use it again.

We rounded out the meal with microwave-steamed green beans (I may get cancer from the plastic steamer basket but it's a helluva time saver) and a microgreens, spinach, and shredded carrot salad topped with my gramma's secret recipe vinegar & oil dressing. No you can't have it, but I'd be happy to make it for you sometime. Just invite me over for dinner.

Other than about 2 cups of left over BBQ sauce (most of which Roomie has earmarked for tuna sandwiches) there was nothing but alot of dirty pots and pans left in the kitchen at the end of the night.

Well, that and a giant, red boat.