The Girl With The Most Cake

I walked into my office the other day at the tail end of a conversation between my friends JenC and Mrs. L. JenC was feeling guilty about having to tell the bosses of her various part-time jobs that she wouldn't be able to work any more than she already was.

"It is difficult being an artist with a part-time job," she explained. "Everyone seems to assume that since the artist's real work (writing/creating/composing) isn't a 9-to-5 thing, they will be available to work whenever and for however long." I was inclined to agree. When I worked at the liquor store, it seemed as though I was always the first one contacted when someone else called off or couldn't work.


"Still doesn't make it any easier to say no," replied Mrs. L.

"And speaking of guilt and saying no," I interjected, "the peices of cake currently sitting on your desks are the product of a particularly stressfull weekend, most of which could have been avoided had I just said no."


I won't bore you with the details, friends and enemies. Let's just say my cousin, The Wild Child, came to visit for the mud-soaked, drunken debacle that is 7fest; and instead of two teenaged girls spending the night in my apartment, I had five, all of whom were spoiled, entitled, loud-mouthed, well, for lack of a better word, bitches.


A direct quote from the morning after? "Sorry we f*cked your shit up last night." Oh, well, that completely makes up for the fact that I spent 6 hours Sunday scrubbing the muck and make-up residue from my bathroom, vacuuming up so much mud from the carpets Roomie had to take apart and clean the vacuum, emptying beer cans, and doing loads of muddy towels, sheets, and blankets.


To relieve the stress all this caused me, I baked the following cakes. According to JenC, the first one was more than enough to ease her guilt over not working overtime. The second one definitely helped me forget most of the weekend and my cousin's reprehensible behavior.

Banana Cake with Pineapple-Buttercream Frosting
“The Guilt-i-nator”

for the cake
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon of salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) vegan margarine
¼ cup vegan shortening
1 ½ cups sugar
3 very ripe bananas, smashed (about 1 cup)
½ cup unsweetened soy milk
2 eggs worth of Ener-G egg replacer
1 teaspoon vanilla

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour 2, 9-inch round cakes pans.
In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
Using a mixer, cream the butter, shortening, and sugar together in a large bowl. Add the bananas, egg replacer, milk, and vanilla. Beat at a medium speed until well-mixed and creamy.
With the mixer at low speed, add the dry ingredients to the wet in thirds, slowly increasing the mixer speed to high. Beat until very smooth and well-combined.
Divide the batter between the two greased pans. Give each one a few hard taps on the countertop to get rid of any bubbles.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until a knife stuck in the middle comes out clean. Let the cakes cool in the pans for about 10 minutes before turning out onto a rack. Let cool completely before frosting

for the frosting
1 stick vegan margarine (1/2 cup)
4 cups powdered sugar
1/3ish cups of fresh pineapple, pureed until very liquidy
½ teaspoon vanilla
yellow food coloring (optional)

Using the whisk attachment of a hand mixer, cream together the butter, vanilla, and two cups of powdered sugar.
Alternate adding the pineapple puree in thirds and the remaining powdered sugar. Don’t add too much pineapple or the frosting will be too liquidy.
Whisk in drops of yellow food coloring until the frosting is bright and pineapple-colored.
When the cakes are completely cool, smear a thick layer of the frosting on top of one of the layers. Place the other layer on top, and frost completely with an off-set spatula or knife.

Double-Chocolate-Blueberry Bundt Cake with Chocolate Ganache Frosting
“The Guilt Killer”

for the cake
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
¾ cup canola oil
1 cup sugar
¼ cup soy yogurt
1 tablespoon ground flaxseeds
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup cocoa powder
1 tablespoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon salt
1 cup fresh blueberry puree (from about 1 ½ cups blueberries)
1 cup vegan “buttermilk” (see note)

for ganache
3 ounces bittersweet chocolate chopped
1/3 cup vegan “heavy cream” (see note)
½ tablespoon corn syrup
½ tablespoon vegan butter

Note: To make vegan buttermilk: Place 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in the bottom of a one-cup measuring cup. Fill the rest of the way with full-fat soy or almond milk (do not use rice milk or low-fat milks; neither curdle right). Let the milk sit while you prepare the rest of the recipe, then use as you would traditional buttermilk.To make vegan heavy cream: Combine plain soy yogurt and full-fat soy/almond milk (at about a 2 to 1 ratio) until the mixture reaches the consistency of heavy cream. Between the cake and the ganache, this recipe uses one small (6 ounce) container of soy yogurt.

to prepare the cake
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 12-cup Bundt pan with canola or vegetable oil spray and set aside.
In a small saucepan, melt the 2 ounces of chocolate over a larger pot of boiling water (or use a double boiler. Let cool slightly.
In a large bowl, whisk together the oil, sugar, yogurt, and flax seeds until smooth. Add the cooled chocolate and whisk well. Set aside.
In a small bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Alternate adding the dry ingredients, the blueberry puree, and the prepared buttermilk to the chocolate mixture. Whisk until very smooth and combined.
Pour the cake batter into the Bundt pan and bake on the lower rack of the oven for about 40 minutes. A knife inserted in the center of the cake should come out clean but not dry. Don’t over cook or the cake will be too dry and burny.
Let the cake cook in the pan for about 10 minutes. Turn out onto a wire rack and allow to cool completely before frosting.

to prepare the ganache
In a glass Pyrex cup (or other heat-proof dish) mix the chopped chocolate, corn syrup, and butter. Set aside.
In a small sauce pan bring the heavy cream to a boil (don’t let it boil too long or it will scorch).
Pour the boiling cream over the chocolate mixture. Cover with a dish towel or small plate and let sit for about 5-7 minutes or until all the chocolate has melted. Whisk briskly until smooth.
When the ganache has cooled slightly, pour over the cooled cake, using an offset spatula to help it drizzle down the sides. Let the frosted cake stand at least 30 minutes for the ganache to set before serving.

***

Neither of these cakes lasted long enough in my apartment to get photographed so you’ll just have to take my word that they were both as gorgeous as they were delicious.

And getting rid of the guilty feelings?

Piece of cake.

Oh Me, Oh (Cinco de) Mayo

One of my fondest Cinco de Mayo memories involves studying Classical Mythology over plates of fajitas on the patio of a busy Mexican restaraunt, dancing to Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade" after leaving the fiesta, and watching The Raccoon take a test the next morning after puking in an OSUM bathroom.

This year the festivities were a bit more low key (and actually a bit lonely, if I'm being completely honest). Roomie was on his way to Philadelphia and the Dad Vail Regatta; it was mid-term week for my friends still in grad school; LitFest was kicking off; I'm likely getting passive-agressively phased out of certain folk's company...

But don't cry for me, friends & enemies. I still had a pretty good time in the kitchen. I just have way more leftovers than I usually do following a holiday-themed dinner party. Plus, there were less dishes to wash! Mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida.

First Course/Nibbles:

Por supuesto, I made guacamole and salsa. I don't really have a recipe for either of these things - I just keep adding ingredients until I like the way the dips taste. I like my guac kind of plain, just red onion, cilantro, a little garlic, a little cumin and/or chipotle powder. Since I'm not a big fan of onion chunks, I'll usually pulse everything but the avocado in the blender before fork-mashing everthing together. For salsa I like white onion and jalapenos and poblanos. Depending on how chunky I want the salsa, I'll puree a few tomatoes in the blender for the base before adding more chopped tomatoes and the minced onions and peppers. I made the salsa the day before so the flavors could settle together a bit. The guac I made just before I wanted to eat it with some cheap tortilla chips. Muy bien.

Main Course:

Both these dishes are spins off of recipes from the "Fast Easy Fresh" section of this month's Bon Appetit. I hadn't been sure what I was going to make for Cinco de Mayo and had picked up the magazine at Kroger on a whim (well, not so much "whim" as "I'm going to need something to distract me from the 60 midterms I have waiting for me to grade"). Neither are expectedly "Mexican" but since I was my only dinner guest I was pretty sure I wouldn't mind. (I did not).

Arco Iris Ensalta Arroz

1 cup long-grain white rice

1/4 cup lemon juice

4 tablespoons olive oil, divided

1/8 teaspoon black pepper

2 ears-worth of fresh corn kernels

1 orange bell pepper, chopped

1 zucchini, chopped

3-4 peppadews, chopped (depending on how hot you'd like your salad, feel free to mix in some chiles or poblanos)

3 green onions, white and green parts, chopped

1/2 cup chopped cilantro

1 avocado, peeled and diced

Cook the rice for a few minutes less (or with 1/4 cup less water) then the package recommends to keep it from getting soggy (probably about 12 minutes). Drain, rinse with cold water, and drain again. Set aside.

In a small bowl or Pyrex measuring cup (I seriously love those things when it comes to making dressings), whisk together the lemon juice, 3 tablespoons of the oil, and the black pepper. Set aside.

Heat the remaining oil in a large skillet. Add all the corn, orange pepper, peppadews (and spicier peppers, if using), and zucchini. Saute for about 7 minutes or until all the veggies are bright and just starting to soften.

Mix the veggies and rice into a large bowl. Add the onions and cilantro and toss. Here you can add the lemon-olive oil dressing to the entire bowl and toss to coat, or dress each serving individually. Either way, top with the chopped avocado and serve.

Garlic & Tarragon Pinto Frijoles

This was originally a chicken-with-cream-sauce dish that did not call for beans. Behold! The power of The Veganification!

2 tablespoons olive oil

4 cloves of garlic, peeled and chopped well

1 1/2 tablespoons fresh tarragon, minced

1/2 cup vegetable broth, plus more for thinning/mashing

2- 15 oz. cans of pinto beans, drained and rinsed

Heat the olive oil in a medium pot. Add the garlic and cook until just starting to get fragrant (about 3 minutes). Add the tarragon and cook until softening, another 3-5 minutes. Stir frequently so the garlic doesn't get too brown. Add the beans and broth. Using a wooden spoon, smash together with the garlic and herbs. Add more broth if necessary. You could also use a potato smasher but I didn't want my frijoles too liso.

I cooked up some green beans ($1.99 for 2 pounds pre-cleaned! Hooray for manager's specials at Kroger!) and asparagus to round out the meal.

To drink I just had some white wine. I'm not a huge fan of tequila (unless it's in shot-form with a cinnamon orange slice on the side) and since I was alone, I opted not to lug out the blender for margaritas.

***

There aren't many theme holidays left this quarter so I'll probably be making up a few of my own. "Finally Done Grading Day" and "Start of Summer Blockbuster Movie Season" both seem like as good a reason as any to celebrate with food and drink.

As always, fans and detractors, you're all cordially invited.

My Week In Film

So I'm over the hump; week 5 has come and gone. The birds are singing in the trees, I'm almost officially a lifeguard, there were several pedagogically successful days in a row. Yes, indeed. There's nothing but blue skies, warm weather, and promising student essays on the horizon.

And just what, you may be wondering, has got your favorite vegan in such an optimistic mood?

The Athens International Film+Video Festival, that's what. I just spent seven glorious days -- over 30 hours altogether! immersed in films, shorts, animation, documentaries, and (possibly most important of all) hot movie theater popcorn. The high from the latter alone is enough to make me forget about all the grading that goes along with student essays.

Here's how it went down:

Thursday:
"Das Weisse Band" (a creepy study on the nature of punishment set in pre-WWI Germany) with Roomie & "Sherlock Holmes" (starring the more-than-swoonworthy Robert Downey Jr.) over at Baker Center's Dollar Movie Night. Though neither were technically part of the film festival, both were quite good. For food I made a patent-pending Ginormous Salad. I take my jumbo-sized Tupperware bowl and fill it with every leafy green and fresh herb I've got in my fridge. Romaine, spinach, chard, watercress, lacinato kale, sprouts, diced radishes & their greens, shredded carrots, sliced mushrooms, green onions, marjoram, parsley, oregano, basil, mint, cilantro, thyme, and so on. It's usually enough salad to last for 3-4 days, depending on how hungry I am. I figured I'd be able to slack off on the cooking a bit if I made it on Day One of the Filmstravaganza.

Friday:
Due to the Icelandic volcano debacle, the first film I wanted to see was cancelled. I then proceeded to get laughed at for wanting to buy a single movie ticket. Not the most auspicious beginning but the free evening allowed me time to make the following salad/chunky dip. Serve it warm as a topping for rice or pasta, serve it cold with the raw veggies you've snuck into the theater in lieu of popcorn for an 11am screening.

Lights, Camera, Artichoke-Garbanzo Pate
adapted from the April 2010 issue of VegetarianTimes

2 artichoke hearts (I used the ones leftover from the ones I steamed a couple Sundays ago)
1 can of garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 diced onions
1/4 cup diced pickles
1/4 cup diced green pepper
1/4 cup diced celery
1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise
2 teaspoons olive oil
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tablespoon capers
1 teaspoon yellow mustard

Combine everything in a blender or food processor. Pulse until the consistency of chunky oatmeal. Season with 1/4 teaspoon each of sea salt and black pepper if desired. Refrigerate for a few hours or overnight to set the flavors.

Saturday:
After the Gridiron Gallop 5K, I head up to the Athena for the competition screening, "Movies For Slightly Older Kids." My favorite of the bunch is either "Pigeon: Impossible" or "A Dog Goes From Here To There." Immediately following is another series of shorts, "Poetry, Music, and Film." I liked the films "An Eyeful of Sound" and "Elephant Medicine" best. After the shorts I meet up with my BFF JSK to see "The Secret of Kells," a gorgeously animated Irish film, during which I eat the salad I snuck in. After the movie, I take a 2 hour break to finally shower off the 5K grime and eat some dinner (warm artichoke-garbanzo dip over rice and raw veggies). Then it's back up to the theater for the competition screening "Do Ask, Do Tell." Good films there include "Gayby" and "Never Too Late." Some of my students from the horror class I'm teaching show up around 9 and we all go to the "Thrills and Chills" show. Though none of the shorts were as scary as I expected, showing a trend in horror towards moral outrage rather than monsters and ghosts (there was quite a bit of necrophilia and crime),"Copelia," "tyle wody kolo domu," and "Herbert White" were all wonderfully creepy. I'm actually hoping "Copelia" gets picked up by a larger studio and turned into a longer film. It has the potential for the same creepy futurism as "I, Robot" and "Minority Report."

Sunday:
I don't get to see as many films as I'd've liked today (Roomie needed help with a massive cram session) but I do get to the "Mythological Tales" competition screening and the full-length film "Eyes Wide Open," a moving (despite the slightly over-symbolic ending) story about a forbidden relationship between to orthodox Jewish men in Jerusalem. The best of the myths include "The Moon Bird" and "O Pintor de Ceos." I eat PB&J's for dinner while going over glycolysis and the Kreb's Cycle with Roomie.

Monday:
Week 5 starts and I encourage all my students to go to the Festival with the promise of extra credit. I do see many of them at the films which boosts my pedagogical ego. As for me, I see the shorts, "The Continuing and Lamentable Saga of the Suicide Brothers" and "kleine liebe," and the film "The Man Came and Took Her" in the afternoon. After teaching, I return for the "Animation" competition screening and a nice big bag of popcorn for dinner. Despite the fact that I was seated in a sea of pretentious art school kids, I managed to enjoy all of the cartoons. "Fuzzy Insides" and "Skylight" are my favorites.

Tuesday:
I have a freak-out moment today where I realize how much time I've spent indoors the past few days. So when I finish teaching, I opt for a really long bike ride and several glasses of wine. I don't think I even turned the TV on today, that's how visually over-stimulated I felt. Instead I treat my ears to the forthcoming The New Pornographers and Josh Ritter albums, both of which are streaming at NPR.com until they are officially released.

Wednesday:
Finally the ash has cleared from the European skies and I get to see "Nymph," a Thai re-imagining of the Daphne myth. It's a 90 minute movie with maybe 6 pages of dialogue so it was a little atmospheric. Still really good.
Later in the day, I show my favorite film of all time, Labyrinth, to my freshman comp class. I have been using it as a teaching tool for several quarters now with varying levels of success. I don't care how much the students may laugh, I will continue to show it. Show me someone who can't appreciate David Bowie in tights, singing & dancing with Muppets, and I'll show you a blind, tone-deaf liar.
Then it's back to the Athena for the 7:15 showing of "Fish Tank." Other than the mylar balloon at the end, it was a very good film. Once again, I'm too lazy to do anything but eat popcorn for dinner.

Thursday:
This morning I watch the 2003 version of "Willard" as a part of my own personal, quarter-long horror film marathon. In my horror class, I show the animated graphic novelization of the Stephen King short story, "N," which my students had read over the weekend. The last full-length film of the Festival for me is the simply great Greek movie, "Dogtooth." It's an absurd look at control and coming of age and the scene with the cat might be the highlight of the week for me. Then I meet up with The Raccoon and my friend The Film Buff to see the last screening of the week, "Best of the Fest." There were about 20 shorts and all were spectacular. "My Beast Friend," "Banana Bread," "Wonder Hospital," and "The Commoners" were my favorites from there.
To snack on in the theater, and to celebrate the end of a week well filmed, I made the following candied nuts. After my weight in salted popcorn, I was really in the mood for something sweet.

That's A Wrap Rosemary Candied Almonds
inspired by a recipe in Martha Stewart's Living, May 2010

2 cups raw almonds
2 tablespoons demerara sugar
2 tablespoons vegan margarine
2 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons fresh rosemary, minced
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside. In a small bowl, combine 4 teaspoons with the sea salt and set aside. In a large skillet, combine the butter and honey until melted. Add the remaining sugar and cook until the mixture just starts to bubble. Lower the heat and stir in the almonds with a wooden spoon until well-coated. Remove from heat and stir in the rosemary. Spread the almonds onto the cookie sheet in a single layer. Sprinkle with the sugar-salt mixture and put in the oven for about 10-15 minutes. Let cool completely before eating. A bit of advice? Taking a small bag to the theater will keep you from eating the entire trayfull.

***

And so endeth AIF+V Festival 2010. Coming up? More movies (Nightmare on Elm Street remake!), a concert, Cinco de Mayo, 12+ hours of student conferences, the Lit Fest, and (hopefully) some cooking.

Definitely some cooking.